In the Middle Ages important people employed others to do their praying for them.  I can’t imagine me applying for that job!  I’m a rubbish pray-er.  When I kneel down by my bedside I go to sleep!  I need practical help.  Here are some things that have helped me so far:

 

Fan heater.  A friend who lived across the street suggested some joint prayer in the morning.  The first morning it was his turn to host me.  He was still in his pyjamas, which was apparently his normal attire for morning prayer.  Which is OK - but it was winter!  It was freezing cold!  He had those useless metal window-frames that don’t keep the cold out.  The next morning I was able to show him the secret of my morning prayer: a fan heater.  Prayer and masochism are two different things. 

 

Lemon tea.  How can I ever keep my mind on the subject in the morning, especially if I want to pray for a good while about a particular person or a particular need?  That’s where the lemon tea comes in.  Somehow I have mentally associated it with concentration in prayer.  OK, it doesn’t need to be lemon tea but I’m not sure about coffee.

 

Steam room.  Christ was prescriptive about the practice of prayer: “go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father in secret”.  I take it he meant without mobiles and emails.  For me, that only leaves the steam-room in the gym.  The fog in our steam room is thick, to the point where neither sound nor light travels very far.  I can pray quite happily, and secretly – and warmly.  You can’t take notes in there so I write in the steam on the wall with my finger to help me remember what I prayed for.

 

Race-course.  One of my dodges is going to an out-door open space and talking out loud to the Lord as I walk along, imagining him walking with me - just half a step behind me (this helps my mind explain why I can’t see him).  We have lived at different times near a race-course, a vineyard, a riverside and a very big park; each one has been hospitable to the Lord and me.  You will need enough space to avoid people nearby thinking you are (a) on the phone (b) a religious nutter (c) losing the plot.

 

Distraction notepad.  Ever get hopelessly distracted when you are trying to pray?  Me too.  No matter how hard I try to put those distractions out of my head they dig in all the deeper.  In fact how can it be otherwise if you are praying about an important journey and then remember you need to buy your ticket online to save money?  My only way out is to keep a “distraction notepad” with me where I can write down those stray thoughts, knowing I will safely meet them later.

 

Planet Earth.  Did you see those amazing very-deep-sea creatures on “Planet Earth”- the ones that produce their own light?  They live in total darkness near the bottom of the ocean under pressure so heavy that it takes special equipment for humans to get down that far.  That equipment has only been developed recently.  Meanwhile those diaphanous little creatures have been generating their enchanting coloured light for thousands of years.  Question: who was watching them all that time?   You know who.

 

Now, courtesy of Attenborough, the Beeb and Co, we can watch them too.  It makes me pray in front of our TV.  There must surely be some theological name for “wow” prayer where we enjoy creativity with God – his creativity, and others’, and yours.     

 

Hijack churches.  Since we are told that churches are empty (actually that can be a rather sloppy journalistic cliché) why not hijack them for private prayer?!  What better place!  Supposedly nobody will ever bother you there!  Actually some churches have cottoned on to this and make it easy for you to sneak in un-noticed and spend all the time you like (there is a one near our home – a Catholic church).  How do I know these churches realise what is going on?  They leave the heat on!